Archived Memos from April, 2013

Friday, April 26, 2013

We kicked this one off with a quick tease of tonight’s guests; specifically “America’s Gigolo” Vin Armani. After paying numerous compliments to the realism of Gigolos’ mindbendingly complex storylines, Abe was reminded that our guy Bass missed his calling. Partly because, well, he’s not very skilled in this field. But also because Bass has such a unique look, size and shape … Read More

Thursday, April 25, 2013

We started with, easily, my favorite Abe-ism of April: “Does anyone else get the sense that Diane Sawyer really knows her way around a stick?”

Pretty unanimous in here that, when that red light goes off, she becomes quite the swine in the sack. Hard to explain, exactly, but the signs are all there.

Sam pointed out, halfway thru that discussion that Diane … Read More

Friday, April 19, 2013

We kicked ‘er off with a show of hands — who, at 8:02 PM (EST), is listening to The Abe Kanan Show? Admittedly, an odd choice considering the FBI and Boston cops were literally pulling the surviving suspect out of a speedboat in some dude’s backyard. It was essentially the can’t-miss climax of an entire day spent glued to news.

Surprisingly, … Read More

Thursday, April 18, 2013

We kicked this thing off with Abe setting his phone to “Do Not Disturb” because, apparently, all of the annoying bill collectors, at their irritating 800-numbers haven’t yet learned that Abe Kanan hosts The Abe Kanan Show between these hours on these days. As you can imagine, it is far too distracting for Abe to manually ignore the calls like … Read More

Friday, April 12, 2013

We launched this bad boy with Abe waxing nostalgic about his first ever raise at his very first radio job. A young Ryan Manno was the Marty to his Doc, so I can absolutely vouch for his story’s validity. Abe’s boss, a 48-year-old, former bodybuilding dwarf (a certified dwarf), who bleached his hair every week to stay “hip” (he was making … Read More

Thursday, April 11, 2013

We kicked this one off with yet another thrilling installment of Abe Kanan’s Workout Misadventures. It’s been a good while since we’ve heard about one of Abe’s gym disasters, so I was actually looking forward to hearing this..

You see, the Harlem Globetrotters, with whom Abe normally runs on the hardwood had a full squad (again), leaving no open room for … Read More

Friday, April 05, 2013

We kicked this beast off with an impromptu lemon bath for the grimiest, green elbow this side of the mighty Mississip’ — Dan “Bass” Levy. Quick setup: When we left you last night, we were all dismayed at the revelation that Bass actually had the dreaded “dirty elbows” that Abe has ranted on and warned against for many years.

So during … Read More

Thursday, April 04, 2013

We tipped this bitch over with a deep cut from Slash’s Snakepit. So, for the thousands of you impatiently waiting on hold to ask who was responsible that fresh ass tune — Slash’s Snakepit.**

**Abe: I know you bleed GNR, but that sucked. I heard better vocals when I judged Cicero’s Got Talent. And Cicero doesn’t got talent.

On the bright side, … Read More

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