Archive for 2016

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 114 – 12/27/2016

Episode 114 topics…
1. Sam returns
2. Celebrities keep dying
3. Bass ponytail update
4. Do people with band tattoo’s have sex with the bands
5. Mean nerd at Apple Store
6. Abe met Kenny Williams and Sam met Paul Stanley
7. Meeting celebrities on the street stories
8. Abe’s Indiana joke
9. People who think they are VIP
10. Every married guy has a corny line about marriage
11. Daniel … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 113 – 12/22/2016

Episode 113 topics…
1. Guy was mad about Tupac getting into Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame
2. Donald Trump should never wear a hat
3. People at casino who make a lot of noise eating noodles
4. The reason people yell “MONKEY” during Baccarat
5. Guy complimented a girls wig and she went nuts
6. Garth Brooks wears a Madonna type headset
7. David Draiman from … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 112 – 12/13/2016

Episode 112 topics…
1. Street fight videos and people who fight
2. The weight loss drug that made you poop pants is back
3. Kanye West and Donald Trump meeting
4. Any African American guy can quickly move up Trump ladder
5. Blac Chyna using Kardashian name
6. Abe’s tip on becoming a Kardashian
7. How to spot a fake ass
8. Funny comment guy made in bathroom
9. … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 111 – 12/8/2016

Episode 111 topics…
1. Abe’s hatred of kangaroos
2. Kangaroo attacks and fights
3. What would happen if any of us fought a kangaroo
4. Matt Leinart’s Twitter description
5. R. Kelly junk segment at concert
6. People who love snow
7. People who ask if you mind if they smoke
8. People who say Merry Christmas as a taunt

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 110 – 12/2/2016

Episode 110 topics…
1. Taking shirt off when eating
2. Sam’s claim that Abe ate off of cardboard
3. Messy foods
4. Things that are similar with babies and old people
5. Abe want’s to go out like Jim Morrison minus the overdose
6. Guy at casino looked horrible and was bragging about his looks
7. The Dark Knight jacket
8. Sam’s Trump comparison to Abe
9. Sam’s thoughts … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 109 – 11/22/2016

Episode 109 topics…
1. New David Blaine special
2. The Bass ponytail kickstarter
3. Steroid cheats in NFL
4. President Obama and Ted Nugent
5. Regular Milk benefits and detractors
6. Cats could puke every day and not care

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 108 – 11/14/2016

Episode 108 topics…
1. Cubs shock wave effect
2. People who live in “the bush”
3. Guy at Chipotle was mad when he saw “agua” sign
4. Why don’t body shops ever know when work will be done?
5. Abe’s shitty rental car
6. Blind guy without a stick
7. Adults who still talk about high school football
8. The Bass ponytail

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 107 – 11/9/2016

Episode 107 topics…
1. Darlene’s depressed years on Roseanne
2. Cubs and election social media posts
3. Linkedin is creepy
4. The door knob and safety game
5. Cubs and Sox
6. Steroid wing in hall of fame
7. Abe used to think Latino people were white as a kid
8. All guys school and pranks on teachers
9. Lady did Abe’s sandwich scam with Bologna
10. Deli’s need to … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 106 – 10/27/2016

Episode 106 topics…
1. Larsa Pippen leaving Scottie Pippen
2. Scottie is know for having big junk
3. Michael Jordan competitive about everything including junk
4. Suge Knight accusations about Dr. Dre trying to kill him
5. Dre and Suge both have a kid with the same woman
6. The Undertaker went to Cavaliers game in full outfit
7. Jared from Subway’s wife suing Subway
8. Jared was … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 105 – 10/20/2016

Episode 105 topics…
1. Sox and cubs fans
2. People who fight at sports games
3. Amy Schumer, Madonna, and Ann Coulter
4. Abe won $5000 in poker tournament
5. Guy named “Cutler” kept talking about Jay Cutler
6. Swearing to God
7. People should have to claim their poop after effects
8. Unhealthy Trump supporters
9. People who participate in Movember
10. Young men are missing a manly chromosome
11. … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 104 – 10/11/2016

Episode 104 topics…
1. Is there anything Donald Trump could do to lose his supporters?
2. Trump supporters that would let Donald have sex with their wives
3. Men who hold down women
4. Chicago marathon and the runners with balls hanging out
5. Derrick Rose might be the dumbest human being on Earth
6. Abe’s new life hack involving stretching at urinal
7. The search for … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 103 – 10/4/2016

Episode 103 topics…
1. The lasagna that ruined Abe’s day
2. Noah’s Arc
3. Ric Flair sex stories and Halle Berry story
4. The baby from Nirvana’s “Nevermind” recreated cover art
5. People who donate sperm
6. Do parents care about their kids junk size
7. Adopting adults

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 102 – 9/27/2016

Episode 102 topics…
1. Sam’s Arnold Palmer tribute
2. Tom Collins history
3. Jay Cutler reminds Abe of fake puking in grade school
4. Sam’s work and life advice
5. Slob who had sandwich remnants on face for entire meal
6. Kid whose parents wanted him to throw lefty
7. People who share straws and joints
8. Abe’s tip for guys who pass joints to strangers
9. Cocaine users … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 101 – 9/15/2016

Episode 101 topics…
Jay the Gay joins us for a NSFW podcast.

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 100 – 9/7/2016

Episode 100 topics…
1. Sam in Las Vegas compared to Abe
2. Misfits reunion concert in Denver
3. Danzig’s ridiculous song intro’s
4. People who wear Misfits gear are usually posers
5. Denver smells like weed
6. Lots of white homeless people in Denver
7. Smoking weed with homeless people
8. Abe as a homeless man
9. Skin tags grow back
10. Abe plans on winning big this weekend
11. This … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 99 – 9/1/2016

Episode 99 topics…
1. Guy died from a hickey
2. You can’t die in your dreams
3. Brock Lesnar kissed a guy on the head
4. Hulk Hogan unblocked a guy with a funny Twitter name
5. Bass was on Steve Harvey show and was given instructions
6. Joey Fatone has hit an all time low
7. Abe’s neighbor chased down guy who stole Abe’s mail
8. Sam … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 98 – 8/23/2016

Episode 98 topics…
1. Suge Knight and Straight Outta Compton
2. Celebrities who still have an aura
3. A Tony Romo reality show would be horrible
4. Guns N’ Roses begging models to come to their shows
5. Brothers of celebrities who lie and say they are the celebrity
6. Low level celebrities treated like stars at crappy clubs
7. The Twinkie guy bought Playboy Mansion
8. Hugh … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 97 – 8/10/2016

Episode 97 topics…
1. Doo Wop could end gang violence
2. Abe accidentally scared a guy in parking lot
3. Boob guys
4. Thirsty guys at Bachelor parties
5. Perverted gymnastics coaches
6. Questioning liars
7. People who give their kids dumb names
8. Apple’s equal pay initiative has one problem

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 96 – 8/4/2016

Episode 96 topics…
1. Abe and President Obama birthdays
2. New radio studios
3. Construction workers at radio stations with drills
4. Orlando Bloom junk pictures
5. Guys who take off their shirts at parties
6. Ass cleavage shorts
7. Ass to ass rock stars
8. Things that need to be updated
9. Warren Sapp is a relationship deal breaker
10. Relationship deal breakers
11. Angry hot dog chef
12. Abe was … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 95 – 7/27/2016

Episode 95 topics…
1. Levy Media Anniversary
2. Fake radio jobs
3. The internet is better than a lot of colleges
4. Sam explains why he wouldn’t vote for Abe for President
5. Abe gives good advice to everyone himself
6. Skin tags grow back
7. Danny Gaga thought WWE draft was real
8. Danny Gaga makes return to podcast
9. Guy who doesn’t let other men under his … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 94 – 7/19/2016

Episode 94 topics…
1. Brock Lesnar fails second steroid test
2. Old man from Pawn Stars death hoax
3. People who beg for free tickets
4. Guns N’ Roses talk
5. People who aren’t smart
6. Radio surveys
7. Abe’s latest bathroom incident
8. Ariel Winter from Modern Family grosses us out
9. Elvis impersonator took dump at McDonalds
10. The age when tripping isn’t funny
11. Abe saved a bird

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 93 – 7/6/2016

Episode 93 topics…
1. Dwyane Wade coming to the Chicago Bulls
2. Abe doesn’t think players should be loyal to teams
3. People who are still shooting off fireworks
4. Amateur firework shows always end badly
5. Guns N’ Roses concert recap
6. Fat guy was wearing see-through shorts
7. UFC 200 in Las Vegas trip
8. People who ask things that they could google

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 92 – 6/29/2016

Episode 92 topics…
1. The snooze button is like being a hostage
2. Morning mask invention
3. Sam’s asshole 5AM text
4. If Sam had a kid, he would do a lot of screaming
5. Sam says that Abe sleeps like a dog
6. Abe wants to put up signs with rules at his gym
7. People who still use checks
8. Sludge sent Abe a creepy check … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 91 – 6/21/2016

Episode 91 topics…
1. Steph Curry’s wife
2. Places that charge extra for BBQ sauce
3. Sam doesn’t think McDonalds should give free sauce
4. Stephen A Smith’s weird speech about Lebron James’ wife
5. Sports radio debates never go anywhere
6. Sports radio callers are the worst
7. Chelsea Clinton gave kid the least presidential name
8. Abraham Clinton for president in 2024
9. Another guy mispronounced Abe’s … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 90 – 6/15/2016

Episode 90 topics…
1. Sludge returns to podcast and talks about Chicago trip
2. People who keep posting stuff about guns
3. Abe wants to get Sam the new Weird Al Yankovic box set
4. Bass disappears mid-podcast
5. Why did Ice Cube put Ricky on the couch in Boyz in the Hood
6. Sons of legends usually suck
7. Sludge lost his phone in Abe’s car
8. … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 89 – 6/7/2016

Episode 89 topics…
1. Guy put his fingers in communal container at restaurant
2. Abe’s love of watermelon
3. Abe’ online casino victory
4. Bathroom choice at work and identifying someone by their shoes
5. Sushi made by hipsters
6. Don West mystery boxes are like cutting open watermelons

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 88 – 6/1/2016

Episode 88 topics…
1. Guys who love guns and cigars
2. Abe and Bass played a pathetic game of basketball
3. Sam playing the game “HORSE” talk
4. Enrique Iglesias makes out with girls on stage during concerts
5. Has anyone been killed because of Enrique’s tactics
6. People who get completely drunk at every event
7. Disturbed singer David Draiman’s cheesy song intros
8. Gorilla tragedy and … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 87 – 5/24/2016

Episode 87 topics…
1. Lady answered phone and asked Abe if he was hungry
2. Lawyer was talking about details of case while taking a dump
3. ATM machines give you subtle hints if you’re a degenerate
4. Abe and Bass want to be each others food sponsors
5. Telemarketer butchered Abe’s name
6. Bass worked as a telemarketer in high school
7. Four-hour diet and fad … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 86 – 5/18/2016

Episode 86 topics…
1. Facebook is full of useless information
2. Abe’s pathetic trip to casino buffet
3. Guy was talking smack with chicken skin on his face
4. Guy with ponytail dipped the tip in water
5. People who tell you to wash your hands
6. Abe’s mom always asks him if he has pressure in chest
7. The Misfits and other reunions
8. Rappers who stop … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 85 – 5/10/2016

Episode 85 topics…
1. Sludge returns to the podcast and excites Sam
2. Fantasy football talk
3. Sam in Training Day scenario would be hilarious
4. Ripping people off in Fantasy Football is great
5. Gene Simmons’ song Christine Sixteen has questionable lyrics
6. Gene Simmons’ sex tape was even more pathetic than Hulkster
7. People who use Kickstarter for pools and other stupid stuff
8. People who … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 84 – 5/3/2016

Episode 84 topics…
1. Balls and bending over in gym locker rooms
2. Guys who work out wearing Bane masks
3. The naked 7-second rule
4. Ted Cruz drops out
5. Open shower should be abolished
6. People who eat on the same side of the booth

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 83 – 4/26/2016

Episode 83 topics…
1. Lazy payroll people
2. Abe feels bad for Possum’s
3. Chyna porn got the same reaction as horse video
4. Hipsters ruin everything
5. What do hipsters and metal guys sleep in
6. Abe can’t wait to refer to twenty dollar bills as “Tubman’s”
7. People who wait in line for hours to save four dollars
8. Guy got arrested for stealing fountain drink
9. … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 82 – 4/20/2016

Episode 82 topics…
1. Abe tagged multiple times on $1 sub story
2. Abe trying to change the time of daily bathroom emergency
3. Thumb in belly button technique
4. Harriet Tubman on the $20 talk
5. Why does anyone care about Andrew Jackson
6. Going to a concert in 1996 compared to 2016
7. If Sam was a rock star he would be the biggest jerk … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 81 – 4/12/2016

Episode 81 topics…
1. New addition to the “Things you can’t look cool doing” list
2. Kate Hudson’s new boyfriend and huge list of boyfriends
3. Bass almost got beaten up by NBA star Baron Davis
4. Abe caught in car dancing to a Kiss song
5. Sam inhales music like air
6. Guy puked on himself at Iron Maiden concert
7. Guy at gym who took … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 80 – 3/29/2016

Episode 80 topics…
1. Changes to the podcast
2. Sam getting a big wrestling type push
3. Abe’s fake injury to not have to walk as far at concert
4. People who roll up one leg while riding bike
5. Recent calls to 911
6. Naked guy on expressway
7. Double locking buttons when seeing homeless guy
8. Advantages of underwear versus commando
9. Abe ate too much Lamb … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 79 – 3/22/2016

1. Remembering Toronto Mayor Rob Ford
2. Greatest audio clip in the history of audio
3. Final Tweet before dying
4. Swearing every morning when you wake up is normal
5. Abe and Bass ate a disgusting(in a good way) meal
6. Hulk Hogan’s lucky bandana
7. Jake the Snake sex tape next
8. Abe accidentally wore green on St. Patricks Day
9. People should wear red on … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 78 – 3/16/2016

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, and Bass discuss…
1. Bass’ latest excuse for being late
2. Sam’s hair trigger
3. Sox player retired because he couldn’t bring son to work
4. People who bring kids to work
5. Jared from Subway got beat up in prison
6. Chumlee from Pawn Stars blew his golden ticket
7. Chumlee bar appearances in small towns
8. Old people hate fat people
9. St. … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 77 – 3/8/2016

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss…
1. Questioning Bass’ whereabouts
2. Sam is sick of Abe’s childhood stories involving him
3. Peyton Manning is like Forrest Gump
4. God doesn’t care about football
5. Sam feeds his dogs in middle of podcast
6. Sandboxes are gross
7. Bass explains why he is always late for podcast
8. Hulk Hogans “dress” bandana for court
9. Hulk Hogan … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 76 – 3/1/2016

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, and Sam Kanan discuss…
1. Abe’s Mexican food double coma
2. Jumping up and down before using bathroom technique
3. People who say “thank you for your service” too fast
4. Abe consoled lady who fell at restaurant
5. Abe used foot to pick up a post it note
6. Ryan dogsitting Owen and Blu Blazer talk
7. Abe had incident with guy … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 75 – 2/24/2016

Abe Kanan, Bass, and Sam Kanan discuss…
1. If Abe played for the Lakers, would he score?
2. Kimbo Slice fight was like a train wreck
3. People who talk about the weather all the time
4. Indiana should have their own news
5. Abe played in a poker tournament that gave away guns
6. Slayer concert and bloody people at show
7. Guy at Slayer concert … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 74 – 2/16/2016

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, and Bass discuss…
1. Abe’s first lunch incident with Bass, in new building
2. Abe clogged toilet on 1st day at new building
3. Guy kicked out of buffet after eating 50 pounds of food
4. Types of people who sue everyone
5. Abe leaving food for Bass is similar to Shawshank scene
6. Grammy Recap – Adele – Ice Cube’s son … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 73 – 2/9/2016

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss…
1. Abe and Bass working in same building again
2. Abe doesn’t want to insult Bass by not going to lunch
3. Abe is in a Walking Dead situation
4. Security guard gave Abe bathroom code, then smiled at him after he left bathroom and forced a conversation
5. The legend of Abe and Suge Knight’s … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 72 – 2/3/2016

Abe Kanan, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss…
1. Story about Abe meeting Suge Knight in Las Vegas
2. Superbowl Best Bet of the Week for coin toss
3. Sam’s bowling team tryout
4. People versus OJ Simpson show
5. Kim Kardashian and Kato Kaelin
6. Abe took bites out of wrongly made sandwiches
7. Phil Anselmo racist remark
8. People who always talk about paying dues
9. People who … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 71 – 1/26/2016

Abe Kanan, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss…
1. Guy died in car crash while pleasuring himself
2. Sponsorship’s
3. Ecoli outbreaks are best times to go to restaurants
4. Diseased sex offer
5. Birth control commercial is scariest commercial ever
6. Steven Tyler grabbed junk and then licked his hand
7. Which old rock stars are still cool to have sex with
8. Abe and Sam saw a … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 70 – 1/18/2016

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss…
1. Podcast intros are dumb
2. MLK Day is a good day to see which of your friends are racist
3. Boycotting awards shows isn’t effective
4. Lesbian thug stared everyone down at casino
5. If Abe were a lesbian, he would be a lip stick lesbian
6. Getting stared down shouldn’t offend people
7. Guy from dealership … Read More

Abe Kanan:ON HOLD Episode 69 – 1/5/2016

Abe Kanan, Ryan Manno, Sam Kanan, and Bass discuss…
1. Reading old text messages is confusing sometimes
2. People who tell people to say hi to people
3. 2016 looks like it will be Abe’s year
4. Crack voice never goes away
5. When people know our orders, we stop going
6. People who say “Happy Ne Year” a week later
7. Small talk is Abe’s worst … Read More

  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2012
  • All Rights Reserved. © 2023 AbeKanan.com